We all have aham (ego). Everything in our life revolves around ‘hu, mané ané pan’ that is to say we are absorbed with ‘me -the big I am, this happened to me or someone did this to me, and making excuses and not accepting our own fault.’
Brahmrup Yogiji Maharaj has said that even if we have to empty our bowels 10 times a day, we would still not see fault in ourselves! However, we are happy to compare and criticise others – this is our inherent worldly condition.
Once, when Guruhari Pappaji was praying in the presence of Param Pujya Mahant Swamiji, Swamiji intuitively said, “Making excuses, is a sign of ego.” Pappaji took this on board and when He was wrongly accused by His fellow committee members for not keeping the accounts properly, Pappaji did not defend Himself, He kept spiritual equanimity and just prayed, thus Yogiji Maharaj became extremely pleased with Him and Bapa took His place in Pappaji’s soul.
Shreeji Maharaj has explained in Vachanamrut that ego is the worst attribute to have. Traditionally, it is believed that lust is the worst sin, but Maharaj explains that someone who is lustful will feel repentant for having such intense desires and he can be easily forgiven, but someone who has ego will be filled with self-conceit; he feels superior to fellow bhakto, will see faults in all others and even in God. Such a person is more likely to leave satsang because their ego. Hence, ego is the worst all vices.
If we truly want to worship God, if we want to realise God, if we want to become one with God and become His heir, then in life we have to keep ‘I’ small. As such, Pappaji has given us the brahmsutra, “When and where ‘I’ ends, He starts to work”.
Whereas in satsang we endeavour to see all mukto has being divine and we look to serve them as if we are serving Pappaji Himself, in the material world, people want greatness. They are always vying to be superior to others and to have a status to be honoured and respected. Many nations believe that they are greater than the next, many religions believe that theirs is the only true religion – so many conflicts occur in this way leading to troubles and strife.
Even on a personal level, there is a drive for recognition. Materialistic people will boast about their jobs, their position at work or responsibilities that they have, or people will boast about their homes, how well their children are doing, so on and so forth. For some people, such things become an obsession and life becomes very competitive, stressful and full of unhappiness.
We must have that awareness that even such things are prevalent in religious life and so this is the biggest warning to us in our sadhana. Even in spirituality, ego is not excluded! But often such things are subtle where even in satsang we are constantly looking for our own ego to be massaged, for example, we like it if people ask us for advice thereby inflating our ego and we feel hurt if we are not asked about our thoughts or opinion. We like to be popular, we may like to impress people or to exhibit our skills, even in seva. Even in bhakti, when our prayers are answered, then our ego can get inflated where we become proud that Maharaj always answers my prayers and fulfils all my wishes – this is still very much a materialistic outlook.
But, still bhakto look for praise and respect in satsang. We know that Pappaji never looked for such recognition from Yogi Bapa – He knew that if He lived as per Yogi Bapa’s wishes then Bapa must be pleased with Him and that Bapa didn’t have to publicly give that recognition. Indeed, if Yogi Bapa did mention Pappaji in public, Pappaji immediately became alert, stating, “Why did Bapa have to mention my name?” Was there some deficiency in Him in His total selfless devotion and surrender to the Lord that Bapa had to praise Him!? Gunatitanand Swami has stated that it is a third-rate devotee who shows off his attributes, but it is first-rate devotee who hides his virtues – with such a bhakta, God is always pleased with him.
Sometimes we may feel that we have been in satsang for so long and we have done this and that seva, and that we deserve a standing in satsang. However, we only have one right in front of God, and that is to do selfless seva irrespective of whether we are acknowledged for that seva or not, or whether or not someone seats us in the front row of the assembly. We should always remember that whatever talent we have, it has been given to us by Pappaji Maharaj for His seva, and for His seva alone without expectations of praise or honour.
Often, people make a big error in satsang and are badly mistaken that only if they receive praise or a standing in satsang that they have made progress in satsang. We have to remember that Gunatitanand Swami was not mentioned by name in Vachanamrut even once. Pujya Parvatbhai was a humble farmer who did not have a prominent position in satsang, but he was a realised devotee and an heir of Shreeji Maharaj. Pappaji has often said that a person may have a hundred thousand followers but he may not be Gunatit, whereas he who does not have any followers may be Gunatit – he is still totally God realised.
This is the mission of the guru – to remove our ego so that we realise ourselves as atma and as the selfless servant of God, and this is the aim of our sadhana. So, let us endeavour to put aside our ego in all matters and act only to please Him.
When Maharaj does not have to keep us, then we are truly His.
Sahajanand Swami Maharaj ni Jai
Pappaji Maharaj ni Jai.