At the beginning of 1953 Bapa organised a “Special Train ” – a pilgrimage for devotees aboard a train. He had delegated the responsibilities for arranging the whole pilgrimage, costs, tickets etc. to me. This was to be known as “The Special” as the whole train was hired for this purpose. The 21-day pilgrimage was at a cost of Rs. 275 per head. I was in the carriage which was allotted to the muktos from Bombay. I had taken part in the “Special” with the sole intention of serving Him. I was not particularly interested in the places we would visit on this pilgrimage; hence I took care of the money belonging to the pilgrims. I would give them their money when they went shopping etc. In this way I was responsible for approximately Rs. 50 – 60,000 which I kept in a leather bag, in our compartment. Jyotiben, Taraben, Sonaba and I took great care of this precious bag. One of us would always be present to ensure that it did not get stolen.
All the muktos were angered by the main organiser of the pilgrimage. He did not organise things well and the pilgrims did not get their meals on time, which led to arguments and fights. In reality, Bapa had instigated the circumstances which resulted in conflicts, clashes and arguments between the 440 muktos aboard the “Special”, causing everyone’s natural characteristics to come out into the open. Bapa would then pacify everyone. The “Special” was a laboratory where the ékantikos were moulded.
Dadubhai, Manibhai (of Salaad) and I were allocated a carriage each. There was a carriage for muktos of Bhadharan, another one for the muktos of Bhavnagar. Each Ékantik was allocated a carriage in which he and his followers stayed. Bapa brought everyone’s vrutis out into the open. At each stop there would be chaos but calm followed. On one occasion Chandrakantbhai asked me to have a quiet word with the organiser of the “Special”. He said, “If you speak to him, he will listen to you and it will bring an end to all the arguments and conflicts.” I replied “If I really believed that he was responsible for all the arguments and conflicts then I would definitely speak to him but the person who is behind all this is the supreme Yogi Maharaj sitting in the first class compartment. Since I whole-heartedly believe him to be God, what can I say to him? We should accept whatever Bapa does, and believe that the organiser is innocent.”
Bapa requested the muktos from Bhavnagar to take over the duty of serving nastas, but the head of that mandal refused, saying that they had paid a fee of Rs. 275 and were not prepared to do the seva. The caterers (V.C wala) should serve Nastas. Bapa emphasised the mahima of doing seva by saying that the occupants of the ‘Special’ were brahmswaroop muktos. He urged them to do this seva but who would listen? They were prepared to do Bapa’s seva but not at all interested in serving those whom they considered to be without nishtha. That night Pitamberbhai of Bhavnagar had a vision of Shashtriji Maharaj, who asked him why he had declined to do the seva that Yogiji Maharaj had asked him to do. The next day he went to Yogiji Maharaj and said “Swami, last night Shastriji Maharaj appeared before me and told me to do this seva so now we are prepared to serve the nastas.” Yogiji Maharaja expressed his surprise and said “When we asked you, you refused but if Maharaj or I appear in your dreams and command you to do something, then you would. What type of nishtha is that?!!”
In July 1953, Chaganbhai and I joined the Agri Orient as directors. Chaganbhai received a salary of Rs. 900 and Rs. 500. I also received a salary of Rs. 500 from my job in Mombasa which added up to Rs. 1000 per month. Most of this was spent for the service of Bapa; some donated to the temple at Gondal and some spent on the youths accompanying Bapa. I had informed Ramesh that he should spend whatever was required in order to provide the youths with whatever they needed. In this way most of my income was spent in seva. Dadubhai’s salary was used for household expenses – at that time the Agri Orient company was quite prosperous. We had four company cars; Oldsmobile, Plymouth, Vauxhall and an American model. At that time I worked as the Chief Accountant at the office and checked all the expense claims of the subordinates. Everyone was of the opinion that I had been made a director because I was Dadubhai’s brother but did not possess any skills or qualifications. This was a quiet time and every morning I did my puja with Kaka. He would begin his spiritual discourses and would continue until 11 a.m. when we would eat quickly and rush to the office. At the office we would have tea and paan (betel leaf with areca nut) every hour and return home at 8.00 p.m.
Every Sharad Poonam we would go to Gondal for the festival without fail. During the festival, the serving of food and other activities were undertaken by the muktos of Bombay. Harshadbhai and I were in charge of organising the sleeping arrangements and the office. We would delegate the other duties. P Haribhai would arrive with his army of muktos from Manavadar and would help with the seva. Most satsangis were in the stage of het-nishtha. They would complain and argue that there were no proper facilities, and we would have to deal with them. The Bombay mandal was very dominant and everything was organised according to their rule. The older organisers were jealous of them. We would go to Gondal ten days before the festival in order to clean and disinfect the accommodations and especially for Bapa’s darshan, sparshan, vatu and prasadi. We would use this opportunity to benefit from Bapa’s seva and samagam. Three days prior to the festival, Bapa would ask us to go and prepare for the festival.
On one such occasion, we had hired the mattresses from Rajkot. However, they did not get delivered on time and when the muktos came to ask for their mattresses, we requested that they return at midnight after the festival had finished by which time we would have them. Due to Bapa’s will, the truck did not arrive until the morning. When the muktos came, we asked them to queue up. They waited for a few hours then finally got tired and left shouting and swearing.
Similarly, at meal serving times, the lower caste public from Rajkot and Gondal would appear at the temple exactly at 11.00 am, and would sit down to eat. The sevaks had been instructed to serve four motaiya ladus to each haribhakta. When the sevaks had served the ladus, each person would immediately put them in a bag to take home. When the sevaks had reached the end of the line, they would turn around to find that everyone’s plate was empty! The real haribhaktos who would come after the festival had ended, would find there was no room to sit down to eat and would make do. We told Bapa that the lower caste people were taking the ladus home to eat. Bapa replied “Never mind, let them take them. Those ladus will gradually inspire them and make them true bhaktas. There is plenty in the house of God”.
Every morning Bapa would take a kettle of tea and ganthias to serve all the haribhaktos at their accommodations, accompanied by the youths. Bapa continued to do this seva until the Bombay mandal eventually took it over.
In 1952, Bapa had a mission to initiate fifty-one youths to become sadhus. Dadubhai, Chaganbhai and Harshadbhai joined in this mission. They supported Bapa and tried to convince the parents of the youths to allow their sons to become sadhus. After Dadubhai’s sakshatkar, the entire Bombay mandal had total faith and nirdosh buddhi in Yogiji Maharaj and due to Dadubhai they all supported Bapa’s wish and considered it their religion. Of all the mandals in Gujarat, the Bombay mandal was supreme and even Bapa would often write that the heaven on earth is in Bombay where he had made his home.
The mahants of the temples of Gondal, Gadhada, Sarangpur, Amdavad and Atladra were only concerned with enhancing the satsang in their own towns rather than the Swaminarayan faith as a whole. It was Bapa’s intention that His own supreme Parabrahm Swaroop was realised by all so that everyone’s souls became purified. To this end, he would instigate various circumstances.
It was one haribhakta’s wish that a large domed temple be built on the site where Shastriji Maharaj’s deri currently stood in Sarangpur. Chaganbhai also supported this. However, the satsangis of Amdavad and other towns were totally against this idea. This became the basis of a major feud. Bapa watched all this calmly and prayed for everyone. The haribhaktos had no qualms about expressing their beliefs. In this event they left the decision to Bapa who supported Chaganbhai and performed the ritual of laying the foundations of the temple (khat-murat). The Swaminarayan faith was now divided into two factions. Those supporting the views of the satsangis of Amdavad and the satsangis from Africa who supported those of Bombay. There was a lot of commotion and confusion, which was made worse by the hostilities on both sides. Bapa took these opportunities to expose everyone’s vrutis causing clashes amongst each other and gradually enlightening these souls.
Another such incident occurred in Gadhada when Shastriji Maharaj departed from his corporal form and Bapa took over the responsibility of the Swaminarayan faith. He did not do this officially but through His spiritual strength. On the tenth day after the departure of Shastriji Maharaj, Bapa took all the followers to the festival at Gondal where the deities were being installed in the temple. There Bapa announced that to help run the Swaminarayan faith he needed fifty-one elders who were over the age of fifty and married to volunteer to be initiated as sadhus. Only thirteen such volunteers came forward, of which only three remained and the rest gradually dropped out. Of these three, only one remained a sadhu. That person is Mota Swami, previously known as Ashabhai Prabhudas.
Even within the santos there were two factions. One faction tried to gain control of the faith by placing their own followers in all the temples. Bapa enrolled the help of Dadubhai and Chaganbhai. As everyone was afraid of them, no one had the courage to object and would do as they were told. During the 1951 Sharad Poonam festival, held in Gondal in the presence of Bapa, certain santos who were coming from Sarangpur were intent on sabotaging the festival. However on the way to Gondal, their truck had an accident and the leader of the saboteurs died instantly. Another sadhu lost an arm. In this way, Bapa subtly demonstrated His divine strength.
At that time a marble temple was being built at Gadhada and haribhaktos were giving donations towards this temple. However, when Bapa took over, he started to re-direct all donations to Gondal, thereby neglecting the other temples. The temple at Gondal became highly acclaimed. Bapa stated “You must keep divyabhav in whatever I do, supporting me without judging my actions to be fair or unfair”. Bapa used such methods to ensure that our Swaroop nishtha became solid. He instigated the circumstances which led to haribhaktos becoming biased one way or another. Everyone would complain that Swamiji favoured Gondal; he should be unbiased and should consider all five temples equally, etc., etc. But Bapa persisted with what he wanted to.
Every year in the month of Shravan, Bapa would visit Bombay and I would be his personal secretary. I took care of all donations of money, rolls of material etc. Swamiji would request me to take out a draft of 80% of all of the donations and send it to Gondal, leaving 20% to be shared out between the other five temples. The mahants, of these temples, would come complaining about this unfairness and demand their rightful share. Bapa would not tolerate such behaviour. Bapa would adopt a crooked manner with those who were crooked with him. If we had received 60 rolls of material, Bapa would instruct 40 to be sent to Gondal leaving 20 to be distributed between Gondal and the other four temples. Thus each temple would receive four each. Those who kept divyabhav in Bapa’s actions found that they made better progress spiritually.
Externally Bapa was proclaimed to be a swaroop but internally they considered him to be a soft sadhu equivalent to themselves who did not have the capacity to lead the sadhus. Everyone feared that he was not capable of leading the Swaminarayan faith.
Swamiji spoke of His quest to initiate fifty-one santos but no one paid any attention. Ignoring the older married men, Bapa decided to concentrate on the youths in order to initiate them as sadhus. Wherever He went He kept them in His divine company. All those who supported Bapa in this quest are now totally free from any kind of pain, misery and suffering. Swami appeared so innocent and gullible that everyone thought he did not understand anything and was totally incapable of running such a large sanstha. Swamiji himself acted in such a way which allowed them to continue with this perception of Him.
One day, looking at an ox Bapa questioned “How many calves has this ox given birth to?” Now, it is common knowledge that calves are born to cows not oxen. In this way people would often cheat Bapa in money matters. For example, having been fooled and paid Rs. 25 for something that was only worth Rs. 5, a person would come to Bapa proclaiming that he had bargained, paying only Rs. 25 for something worth at least Rs. 30. Bapa would go along with this and commend his actions saying that no one else would be able to accomplish this. In effect, Bapa would be fooling those who had tried to fool him. He would pretend he was totally unintelligent and would trick the person who had tried to trick him. But He would definitely show that person, one way or another, that this trickery would not be of any benefit to him. Just as in the case of the sadhus who had tried to sabotage the festival and had then been defeated by the accident. Everyone had to admit that Bapa was an extra-ordinary being and that it was impossible to obstruct him. He was supreme. Those who had nirdosh buddhi for Bapa were from Manavadar, Bhavnagar, Gondal and Bombay. He kept close to him those youths that He wanted to initiate as sadhus, ensuring that they accompanied him everywhere, ate with him, stayed with him day and night. Bapa would gently ask them “Will you become a sadhu?” Whatever excuses the youths would make, Bapa would promise to alleviate anything in order to make it easier for them. “I will take care of everything – just say yes”. Having convinced the youths to say yes, Bapa would send them to Bombay on the pretence of education etc. They were sent to Bombay to stay with Dadubhai who would provide samagam and sing praises of Yogiji Maharaj to them. Dadubhai would also accompany the youths everywhere and sing praises of Yogiji Maharaj to make their conviction even stronger. Ramesh would make sure that there were enough funds to pay for the youths’ expenses.
On 9th December 1953, my extended leave of three months ended and I received a letter informing me that a booking had been made for me to return to Mombasa. The first sick leave for three months had been obtained through the use of my intellectual mind which had given me good experience. I was not expecting this and it caught me unawares. Since it was not in my nature to utilise any form of deception such as bribery Bapa himself made me extremely ill in December 1953. Dadubhai was in Bangkok on business and I was under the care of Chaganbhai who called a specialist Dr Karnal Chandra. He carried out a thorough examination of my liver, kidneys, heart, chest x-rays, and blood tests and produced a 25 page medical report. He prescribed hundreds of tablets. It was at this time that I received a letter from McInon and McKenzie to which I was easily able to reply that I was very ill and could not return to Mombasa. I went to their offices to show them my report and their doctor immediately granted me sick leave for a further three months.
On leaving the offices of McInon and McKenzie, I started to feel better. I had just climbed down the steps at the McInon and McKenzie building and my whole body seemed to have acquired such strength that my stride became forceful. For seven days prior to this I had not eaten anything, had been very breathless and had even been unable to get out of bed. Now just in one day I started to feel 100 % better. I was amazed and could not believe it myself. I could not tell if this was all in my imagination. I went back to the Agri Orient, climbed up four flights of stairs to my office and began to work! I worked all day and that evening I went back to see Dr. Chandra. I told him that I was feeling better and asked him if he could examine me again. I suggested that I would start to take the prescribed medicines and injections if the second examination still confirmed my illness. He carried out a full check-up and found that my illness had disappeared. All the electrical equipment that had previously diagnosed my illness were now reporting that there was nothing wrong with me! I immediately realised that Bapa was responsible for this. Since it would have been impossible for me to get another extension on my leave, I had neglected my intellect and had relied on Bapa to find a solution and this had been the outcome!
After this I was totally fearless and in a state of elation with pride that I belonged to Him – “Kon Mila Hai” – and carried on working at the Agri Orient. Dadubhai was in Bangkok and I was out of town on business when Bapa wrote to us in Bombay asking us to hold a parayan on Sharad Poonam, in the honour of Maganbapa who had recently died. In the letter he had instructed that we pay for the cost of all the expenses incurred in holding the parayan. As I was away, the elders of the household held a meeting and replied complaining to Bapa that he had not been favourable towards us, which was causing Dadubhai to make trips to Bangkok. They also said that a parayan had recently been held in Sarangpur where we had borne substantial costs! When I returned, I learnt what had happened and immediately wrote a letter of apology to Bapa requesting him to forgive me for this dreadful mistake. I explained that the letter had been sent by members of the family during my absence but the company Agri Orient was His property – it belonged to Him, He had every right to do whatever He wanted and ask for whatever He needed. We were mere servants in this company.
In the meantime Bapa, who had received the first letter from the family, had written a reply. In this letter Bapa stated, “I had vowed to Mota Swami that Dadubhai would bear the costs of the parayan and was disappointed that I was let down”. In that letter Bapa also ordered us to read Vachnamrut G. II. 62. I read that Vachnamrut and from that day I vowed never not to allow any considerations of wealth, reputation, family etc. to obstruct me in acting according to Bapa’s wishes, and have stuck to it ever since.
When I went to Gondal, the directors held a meeting and decided that we would donate Rs 700 for the parayan. I did not say anything in front of the others but in my mind I had decided that I would bear the full cost of the parayan as per Bapa’s instructions. In my personal account I had saved Rs 4,800 so I went to Bapa with my cheque book and spoke to him “Please forgive me, I have come with a blank cheque, I shall pay full costs of the parayan”. Bapa said, “Write a cheque for Rs 4,500 and give it to Dajibapu in private, but declare Rs 700 as your donation. Anonymous donations are of the best quality”.
It had become my principle to do exactly as Bapa had asked and neglect the rest. Jogi became my ‘Joker’ and I applied ‘Jogi-Joker’ to every situation in the game of life. (Jogi = Yogiji Maharaj ). Hence it was all right if others supported Bapa, but if they did not I would continue to do so in my own way. Since then, I began making anonymous donations as and when requested by Bapa and became His confidante.
I was under the impression that although my donations were to remain anonymous from everyone, it was not necessarily a secret to be kept from Dadubhai and therefore told him. Later on in Gondal, when Pramukh Swami asked Dadubhai to donate money for the festival at Sarangpur, Dadubhai immediately questioned this stating that we had already donated Rs 4,500 so why a further donation? Bapa immediately turned around and looked at me sternly. A look which declared “You fool! Is this the type of anonymity which I had asked you to maintain?” I became petrified and decided that from now on any confidential matters would remain strictly between the two of us. I had already been taught this lesson at Akhatrij and had made the same mistake again. I vowed that I would never make the same mistake again and from now on I would follow his word; matters would remain strictly between the two of us. I would not allow anything or anyone to interfere and similarly I would not go and give any advice unless and until I was asked to do so. I had decided I would carry out my duties and give my full support in any activities I considered proper, otherwise my actions would be to maintain peace, harmony and unity, without any kind of discord or disagreement. This all occurred at Sharad Poonam of 1952. Dadubhai, was anxious that there was considerable difficulty in finding eligible suitors for Taraben and Jyotiben, and had asked me to go and discuss the matter with Bapa. I asked Bapa, “Regarding Kantibhai’s sisters, we have been unable to arrange anything, what should we do?” Bapa said “What is wrong with them dedicating their lives for the service of God? Maharaj will arrange suitable support. The two daughters of Badrinath are already dedicated to the service of God.” I went back and related this to Dadubhai.
Everyone was pre-occupied in trying to find an eligible suitor for Taraben. During the December of 1952 when Kaka, Chaganbhai and Harmanbhai went to Africa they had discussed the matter with Maganbapa and had agreed the marriage of Taraben with Maganbapa’s son. In honour of this event a party had been held for 250 guests and a letter had been written informing us of Taraben’s engagement.
Taraben had already decided to dedicate her life to the service of God, and in this she had my support through inspiration from Bapa. Taraben, a meek lamb, was transformed into a tigress. Just in the way that the snake around Lord Shiva’s neck hissed and frightened the Garud, Taraben plucked up the courage to declare her intentions with my support. Taraben spent all night praying. Although she wanted to become a nun, she wanted someone else to make this statement on her behalf. She did not like to lose face. She kept her intentions quiet until circumstances (instigated by Maharaj) forced her to make her aim in life public. For anyone intending to become a nun, Maharaj insists that they make that decision themselves after great deliberation. This has been the case in every sadhak’s life. The external objections and obstructions only remain whilst the sadhak herself is unsure of her goal and is still not ready to give up the worldly life. Maharaj had instigated these objections and/or obstructions to test the stability of her convictions. This principle which began with Taraben has continued ever since. Bapa has tested each and every sadhak to ensure that the decision to become a nun was not taken in haste; due to extreme happiness or sadness. If an individual decides to dedicate their life to the service of God which is the highest attainment, and cannot be equalled with anything in this world, then and only then are they accepted as members of the Gunatit army.
As such Taraben spent all night crying and praying deeply for strength to announce her intentions. In the morning she sent a telegram to Africa which stated the following:-
“We are already married with Purshottam Narayan. Don’t play with fire”, and wrote a letter expressing her intention to dedicate her life to God. She said don’t play with us or else you will get scorched. She also stated that if brave people, such as Chaganbhai, Harmanbhai etc., found it difficult to divorce themselves from worldly life, it would be practically impossible for someone as meek as herself etc. Then the engagement was cancelled. Chaganbhai, Harmanbhai and Dadubhai returned and scolded Sonaba but did not say anything to Taraben or Jyotiben.