My search and hunger for the inner soul was gradually leading me towards Yogiji Maharaj. Whenever I sat in meditation, I turned towards Yogiji Maharaj. The spiritual discourses, which I had read about in the literature of Shri Arvind and The Vachnamritam, were very similar, the only difference being that Shri Arvind’s literature had a greater effect on my intellect because it was written in English. In Shri Arvind’s literature I had found an answer to the one thing that had perplexed me most, relating to my intellectual mind which had hindered my progress spiritually. The question I kept asking myself was: How can the all transcending God who is amayik be known by the indriyas and antahkarans that are inherently mayik? And if I recognised God with my mayik vision, then God too must be mayik. Just because everyone proclaimed Shastriji Maharaj to be an incarnation of God, that did not necessarily make Him so.
The Paramhansas also questioned Shreeji Maharaj about how mayik indriyas could recognise the amayik divine God. In Vachnamrut G. I. 51 Shriji Maharaj has clearly stated that when God is on earth in human form and if a mumukshu is calling unto Him, then it becomes His clear duty to make Himself known to the devotee, even though the devotee’s indriyas and antahkaran may be mayik. Shreeji Maharaj further explained that to begin with, the devotee believes in God because of his trust and affection for a sadhu. Gradually, he will have greater faith through his own experiences and as his indriyas and antahkaran become purified, the righteousness, purity and greatness of God will become clear to him.
Hence my quest to realise God began. My nature was such that I was determined to believe that which my buddhi had confirmed, hence the ever eminently compassionate Yogi Bapa heard my prayers and arranged a s¾va for me in which my intellectual mind had the opportunity to become purified. This s¾va allowed my buddhi to become purified and ultimately gave me such control over my intellect that I could prevent it from looking at others’ faults whilst remaining calm and tranquil. The s¾va was my involvement in arranging the marriage of Jayantibhai (my elder brother Chunibhai’s son) with Maganbhai’s daughter. It so happened that Chunibhai was a satsangi only when it suited him, otherwise his satsang was superficial. Maganbhai was a staunch follower of Shastriji Maharaj. He had divine visions of Shastriji Maharaj in Africa. He gathered quite a number of followers of Shastriji Maharaj by performing miracles. He sincerely believed Shastriji Maharaj to be an incarnation of God and as such Shastriji Maharaj fulfilled all his desires. Kashiba also became a satsangi through Maganbapa.
It was Maganbhai’s desire that his daughter be married into a noble family such as that of Chunibhai. Shastriji Maharaj would fulfil this wish. At that time Chunibhai had gone to India and I was working in the school office in Mombasa. It was also Chunibhai’s wish to have the highest position and become the principal of the school so he was making efforts to obtain Shastriji Maharaj’s blessings for this purpose. Shastriji Maharaj at the time was extremely ill and had called all his disciples to Sarangpur for final darshan. Quite a few people had made excuses and did not go and Chunibhai’s wishes were forgotten. Shastriji Maharaj renounced his human form and returned to his eternal abode. Yogi Bapa installed the deities at the temple of Gadhpur and performed the arti and went to Gondal for the religious festivities. Yogi Bapa gave his blessing to Chunibhai saying that his wish for a first grade position and the principalship would be granted but that he should consider Maganbhai’s wish (i.e., to marry Maganbhai’s daughter to Chunibhai’s son). Dadubhai, Maganbhai and Swami (Yogi Bapa) got together to decide on the matter of the dowry and wrote to me asking me to make arrangements in Africa.
At that time I firmly believed Yogi Bapa to be God and that this was a command from my God and I became involved. I disregarded my worldly, intellectual mind which would otherwise have intervened and not allowed me to agree to this marriage. The reason being that Maganbhai was of a lower class in our caste than our family and his daughter was not very pretty, being of a darker complexion. Had I not been devoted to Yogi Bapa, I would not have allowed my nephew to marry her. But as this was Yogi Maharaj’s agna, I disregarded my worldly opinions and decided to discuss the matter with Chunibhai and my bhabhi. They both trusted my judgement in social dealings and agreed to this match, but Jayanti refused. I persuaded him saying that this was the Lord’s wish and convinced him that he should get married to her. I told him that once married, if he still felt the same way, I would annul the marriage, he could become a sadhu and I would take care of his wife. I explained that at this moment he should follow Yogi Bapa’s agna. He consented. Chunibhai, bhabhi and C T Patel held long and lengthy discussions regarding the dowry. Maganbhai could not afford a large dowry. In the end I intervened explaining that the dowry was not important, and if I were gaining a virtuous daughter-in-law from Akshardham, I would give 10,000 shillings. I further added that Maganbapa, the bride’s father, was such a devout follower that the satsangis were sure to give her gold jewellery which would compensate for a lower dowry. In this way the dowry and wedding dates were agreed and in 1951 the wedding party proceeded to Tororo for the wedding. During the wedding Chunibhai created a scene regarding the dowry. Maganbapa called me to a quiet corner and informed me that when he had agreed to this marriage, he was under the impression that it was to a satsangi family and the usual dowry would be waived. He told me he did not have the dowry money and asked me to take care of it. I told him not to worry and that I would sort things out with Chunibhai and bhabhi.
When we returned to Mombasa I informed Chunibhai that Maganbhai had given me 500 shillings to pay for the traditional wedding ceremonies and that if this was not enough he should advise me and I would make up the difference. But bhabhi started to blame the satsang offensively and Jayanti became insane, as per G. II. 60.
He would roam around the house aimlessly, screaming, shouting and talking nonsense. He would listen to no one but Chandubhai and myself. Everyone in the household, including Chunibhai and bhabhi, became extremely fed up. Chunibhai came to me and I thought to myself “whether you believe it or not, I feel that a devotee of God has been hurt deeply and this is the outcome”. Since I was not too heavily involved in the satsang, I took Chunibhai to see C T Patel. He too recalled that Maganbapa had been deeply hurt by the events leading up to his daughter’s wedding. We returned home to find a letter on the table from Yogi Bapa. In the letter Bapa had requested that Chunibhai should read Vachnamrut G II 60 which says that whoever betrays the devotees of God would suffer. Giving an example, Bapa had said that the finger which betrays God’s devotees should be cut off and the eyes that betray should be blinded. Reading this, I turned to Chunibhai and informed him that I now knew how we could cure Jayanti. We returned to C T Patel’s office.
There I told Chunibhai that all his life he had been his wife’s slave, always doing whatever she asked. “I have never interfered but now when she is in the way of your moksh, you should disregard her, disobey her and make your own decisions. You should tell her that Maganbapa has paid the dowry in full, she is not likely to go and check the bank account but it will prevent her from hounding you and offending the satsang.” I said to him that 4,000 shillings of the dowry were still outstanding and as he owed me that exact amount, he need not pay me. I would consider the debt paid and he would have his dowry. In this way Chunibhai repented, we wrote a letter to Maganbhai asking for forgiveness and Jayanti recovered.
Whatever happened, happened, but I certainly gained knowledgeable experience and learned that one should only serve according to one’s faith but should not take offence of satsangis, be they young or old. This was firmly impressed upon me. I had taken part in this good deed in order to please Yogi Maharaj and for that reason I used my intellect and strength. When I got involved in the wedding arrangements, I disregarded my old “Patel” beliefs and in return Bapa had granted me the control of my buddhi, so that if I did not intend to look at other’s faults, I was able to ignore them. I could totally disregard them. This was a remarkable outcome and having attained such a status I arrived in Bombay on 17th April 1952.