There isn’t particularly anything else that I can remember about my life up to the age of five. I also spent some time with my other grandfather, although most of the time was spent with my Dada in Nadiyad. At the age of five, after having seen other children going to school I told Dada that I wanted to do the same. Dada was so pleased that he bought me a slate and chalk and wearing my new clothes he led me by the hand to school. To celebrate this occasion Dada distributed large petasha (sugary sweets). As far as I can remember I went happily with the other boys to school. To begin with, I was in the class of a teacher called Bhalabhai who was a distant relative of ours. The name of the School was Mogul Court. I attended school from 10.00 am to 2.00 p.m. and then again from 2.30 p.m. to 5.00 p.m. I would normally eat before going to school in the morning and also rush home during the afternoon break between 2.00 and 2.30 p.m. to have a quick snack. Dadima would always be waiting ready with my snack. Dada was very highly regarded in the Patel community and therefore always received ladus (traditional sweet dish) as a token of the goodwill during the wedding season. The ladus would be heated up and everyday we would eat them with pompadum as often as we wanted to. In addition, we would indulge in some large diamond-shaped magus (traditional sweet dish) and mathiya (savoury snack), normally eating five mathiyas and one large piece of magus then rush off to school. Often there would also be dhebra, gundarpak, jalebi etc. Initially I was the only one eating all of this because everyone else was a lot older and did not eat as much!
Right from the beginning I was very interested in studying. Each year, not only did I always pass my exams, but also managed to rank 1st, 2nd or 3rd out of the whole class. In school the teachers praised me for my achievements which led to Dada being very proud of me and encouraging me to do even better.
At the age of eleven, having completed the first five years of my education in Gujarati at the Mogul Court School, I applied to Govil High School to continue my education in English. I was one of 200 students that sat the entrance examinations. At that time, I was not aware of any other means of gaining entrance i.e. using influence or recommendation hence I sat the exams. On the day the results were announced my name was amongst the 30 who had been selected for the first year. I was very proud.
From an early age, I had a tendency to ensure that by behaviour was always such that no one need ever find fault with me. My conduct would be such that it always projected a positive character. I was always being praised and complimented. Dada encouraged me to do well and come 1st in class. To maintain this I would study subjects well in advance so that I could answer the teacher’s questions very easily and hence gain respect and admiration from fellow students. This made studying and going to school a very enjoyable experience and preferable to staying at home. At this stage in my life, I was very happy and carefree and had a great deal of self-pride. Teachers too were pleased with my efforts. At the time when I was in Standard I, Mr C.C. Desai taught me almost all the subjects I took and when he met Dada he said, “Babubhai is a very intelligent student”. Dada came home and told everyone what my teacher had said and my ego was inflated! I began to work harder than before. Whatever credit I had gained could not now be lost. I believe that this was a common trait amongst all my family members, i.e. to take self-pride in their achievements and be boastful, if anyone praised us we would go out of our way for them. Those that criticised us would be ignored, perhaps even confronted but we would not act according to their wishes!
I always looked after my possessions i.e. my pen, books etc. To be precise, clear and attentive was always in my nature, as well as being cool, calm and collected; never impatient! Although I had no skills in particular and lacked the skills of deep understanding and comprehension, I possessed a great eagerness to please others hence I worked hard to achieve those skills. From the beginning I always strived to pass and come first in every subject.
The first year of English classes ran from June to June of the following year. I sat the first of my yearly exams in April; thereafter I went to Karamsad for the vacations. In those days I wore khaki shorts and an ‘open shirt’. Dadima would mend my shorts by sewing patches on the back of my shorts so I could get more wear out of them. Even though Dada was always more than willing to buy whatever clothes I asked for, I had no desire for particular styles of clothes and would therefore wear whatever was bought. When I went to Karamsad after my exams I was probably about eleven or twelve years old. Sarabhai used to sleep in a room in the attic and we boys normally slept out on the veranda. One early morning in May of 1927, I was taking the mattress and bed linen inside the house when I noticed that we had some visitors. One of them asked me “What are you studying?” I replied, “I have just given my first year exams, the results are not out yet”. The visitor asked, “How well do you think you have done?” I replied very confidently “I will be amongst the first five in my class.” I always made conservative (cautious) calculations. Even though I came first, so that I would not be wrong, I had said I would be within the first five. Since my childhood it has always been my policy and method to be ever on the safe side.
Even if I am not 100% correct, I would never like to be to totally incorrect, hence to keep double security, it had become a habit to leave a margin for error. Before deciding upon anything I would ascertain the facts and ask, “What would be the worst scenario. In any situation how much would the maximum loss be?” Further steps would only be taken after evaluating whether or not I would be able to sustain that loss. I applied the same principle to my education, even if I felt that my work deserved 80%, I would mark myself down as 60% in order to be sure that I had not over-estimated my mark. Once in a geometry test, marks were out of 25 and although I was sure my answers were 100% correct and I deserved full marks, another student was given 25/25 and I was awarded 24.5 marks. Immediately I questioned the teacher’s judgement and asked why I had lost half a mark when there were no mistakes. The teacher could not give an appropriate justification and I let the matter rest. It was not in my nature to pursue such matters although the competition between my fellow student and myself was to continue.
Then one of the visitors (who was my wife’s uncle) began to measure me from head to toe with a piece of string. He must have considered me to be of the same height as his niece. Kamla (my wife) was probably about eleven or twelve at that time. She was slightly plump and I was slightly slimmer. The visitors decided there and then that I was a suitable match for Kamla and our engagement was announced. The wedding also took place in the same month on Vaisakh Vad 9 (May 25th 1927). At that time my father’s financial status was so weak that he was heavily in debt, all his land had been mortgaged in the hope of paying off the debts and he was also gradually becoming blind. Due to these circumstances even the basic household and food expenses were barely manageable. Hence getting married was not a very happy occasion for me, my wedding clothes were sewn from the most basic, cheapest materials available at the time. However my cousin, Pashabhai who was a vivacious character went straight to Nadiyad and informed my grandparents of the forthcoming wedding. They sent some good quality ‘China-card’ material from which my wedding jacket was to be sewn. I was very unhappy and felt deeply humiliated that I had to depend on someone. The thoughts going through my mind were: “When Sarabhai was practising as a Doctor in Borsad, he had been doing quite well and had no financial worries. Sarabhai paid for the education of his Muslim servant’s son until he graduated and even got him a job in government offices. He spent time finding suitors for our relations and even paid their wedding expenses. He also helped many poor people in their times of hardship and now the same fate had befallen him! From the beginning I was wise for my age, and although my feelings were hurt, I kept them concealed, got married and returned to Karamsad.
When my school vacations ended I returned to Nadiyad and upon seeing my Dadima, the whole burden I had been carrying over-flowed, I could not stop crying – I sobbed and sobbed but this did not lighten the burden, which I carried in my heart. Dadima asked, “What is the matter? Why are you so distressed?” To which I replied “Nothing has happened except that the great responsibility of a wife at such a young age amongst other worries is bearing heavily on my mind” – the other worries were namely my father’s debts. Secondly, my parents who were very dear to me were suffering from the consequences of financial hardship – this I could not endure. They were used to an abundance of wealth and now had to live so frugally that even milk was scarce.
And on top of all this – there was the added responsibility of a wife! My Dada used to pay for my education but now even he was facing hardship. Even though he tried very hard to conceal this fact, it had not escaped my sharp gaze.
Dadima tried to console me by saying “Why are you worrying about the responsibilities now; there are still five years before we bring Kamla here!” However, it was in my nature to sort things out such that I would not have to worry. In order to have a secure future; I made my life style pure and simple, not indulging in any extravagant luxuries such as expensive clothes, entertainment etc. My thinking, attitude and wisdom at that time could have been equated with someone ten years older than myself.
Since the time when I was in the second year, Mr. Shankarbhai S.T. Patel was my form tutor, until I was in the sixth year, I admired him, he became my exemplar and I decided to model my characteristics on him. My aim became to study incessantly, gain a good qualification and to build up a virtuous reputation; therefore I ensured that I always achieved top marks in the class.
As I continued to be regarded with higher esteem at school than at home, I preferred to be at school and would stay at home with reluctance when required to do so. My uncle had a tendency to be unwell and sometimes Dada would ask me to stay at home and look after him. This I would do, but my preference was to be in school.
In Lakhavad (the area in which I lived with Dada), I was admired by everyone and perceived to be very courteous; people would say Nathabhai Savdas’s grandson is commendable. My aim was to uphold these favourable impressions of myself. Shankarbhai played a major role in moulding my character in my youth. One day he said ‘To gain wealth, fame and status may not be your destiny, but to mould your character is definitely in your own control.” From that day, I made a firm resolution to strive for virtuous qualities. Whatever or wherever I saw something with virtues, I would immediately adopt and put into practice; this was inspiration from Shankarbhai. He also instilled into me the importance of holding on to your principles. To help with this, he suggested that I should read books and novels written by reputable authors. From that year onwards I started to read books in my spare time and especially during the vacations I spent all my time at the Dilaxmi Library in Nadiyad. The books could be borrowed and taken home for a small charge, whereas it was free to read them in the library. Being aware of this fact and because we could not afford luxuries, I would go to the library at 11 a.m., select a book, find a quiet corner to read, and sit there until either I had finished the book or the library closed. My teacher had also shown me that when reading one should select and highlight the main points, summarise them and wherever possible adopt them. For example, in my fourth year we began to study Sanskrit. In the first lesson, the teacher wrote the following on the blackboard:
Mi Vas Mas }
Si Thus Th } na Aham na roop
Ti Tus Anti }
Immediately he asked me to read off the board and repeat what he had written. At the time I had not been paying much attention and was unable to do so. He then asked another student who did so, then asked me again. From then on, I became so alert that whatever was put up on the board was immediately imprinted on my brain. The fact that I happened not to know something when the teacher asked me did not appeal to me. I felt that I should always know the answer when asked any question; that was the type of impression I wanted to project. This was to become a life-long habit. I managed to read and learn (parrot-fashion) the first Sanskrit book written by Bhandarkar.
In the same way I made sure that I memorised all the important facts, formulas etc. in algebra, mathematics, geometry, history and geography; hence whichever subject was tested, I was always confident that I knew the subjects well. On one occasion whilst my teacher was writing on the blackboard, I rolled my handkerchief into a ball and threw it up in the air and just as I was about to catch it, the teacher turned around and saw what I was doing. He remarked “It is difficult to distinguish between good students and bad students” – it appeared that he was quite disappointed with by behaviour. I learnt my lesson from this experience – téjiné takoro né gadhéda né dafna. This slight hint was enough make me so alert that I have never allowed a similar incident to recur.
In every subject I took I was always chosen to be the class monitor. It was therefore natural that I was a quiet, patient and serious student. All the teachers trusted me, they believed that there was nothing regarding my education or characteristics that could be improved upon.
After I began studying at the English School, the room on the top floor of our house (Dela vadu ghar) became my study room. My table, chair and table-lamp, which were originally used by my father in his surgery in Karamsad, were placed in one corner of the room. Everyday during my spare time I would sit on the swings day-dreaming. Every morning my grandfather would wake me. He would ask me to light up his pipe. In order to do this I would have to fetch the light (devta) and water from the other house (Khadki vadu ghar). We used to have two types of water: sweet water and salty water. It was one of our daily chores to make sure that we fetched both types of water from the Khadki vadu house to the Dela vadu house. We had to make sure that water and the pipes were made available to those that visited the Dela vadu ghar. The visitors sometimes even rested there in the afternoon. In particular I remember that Lalujibhai, Nathabhai, Verabhai, Nathakaka and Ashabhai would arrive in the heat of the afternoon after they had eaten, especially to rest in the room on the top floor. Each would lie down and start to snore… making all kinds of weird and wonderful noises! As per Dada’s instructions, I would remain in my room reading or would be at school.
Dadubhai was very naughty, he rarely stayed in the house. He always managed to avoid Dada and run off to play far away with his naughty friends, returning late at around 3.00 or 4.00 p.m. carrying some-one’s child and declaring that he had been playing with the child.
Everyday we would go to the pond to wash our clothes. Five of us would wash the ladies clothes. Once a week on Sunday morning we would soak our clothes (shirts, shorts, sheets etc.) in boiling soda water for ten minutes, and tie them in a large wet sheet. We would then take them to the pond or a nearby farm where there was a water pump, there we would wash, rinse, and hang them up to dry. We would then have a bath, fold the clothes and return home at about 4.00 or 5.00 p.m. in the evening.
In the winter months, my Dada would send us to nearby farms in the early morning to pick fresh vegetables such as okra, aubergines, pigeon peas etc. Even though it was very cold, we would walk approximately a mile and a half in the early morning to reach the farm. After picking the vegetables, we would pick up the dry clothes and iron them using a small copper water vessel filled with smouldering coals. This home made iron was held with a piece of cloth. Clothes and sheets were taken out to be washed once a week.
Due to a shortage of water, the lady who delivered our water barely delivered one or two water urns of sweet water which was drawn from the well at the Santram temple for drinking. In Lakhavad there was another well that produced salty water and she would fetch four or five urns of water from there which would be used for bathing. Sometimes if she did not come, we would have a problem. In that instance Kamlaba would fetch the water, carrying the urns on her shoulders and not on her head.
In the evening the children would relax on the beds, which were placed underneath the balcony, and Maniben would sing hymns (bhajans) such as: –
* Na gai Ganga, Godavri, Kashi, ghér bétha malya akshar vasi
* Sambhad béni tara hit ni vat jo,( Muktanand né bhajan béné sambhadvélu)
* Mané pragat malya purushotam aaj
* Harkhav chu hé bhagvant, karu puja kai rité
We would listen to Maniben sing bhajans out of the Hajari (bhajans composed by Santos during Maharaj’s era).
During times other than the vacations
In the morning I would take a bath, get dressed, and on the top floor where my aunt lived, I would perform the ritual of daily worship (puja) by installing the image of Punjajibapu in my puja. Rotating the rosary in my hand 11 times, I would chant the name of ‘Bapuraj’. I would pray for wisdom, intellect and the aptitude to do well in my studies. Thus having prayed, I would go to the delo to commence my studies.
7.30 – 9.30 a.m. Before going to school I would look through the following day’s subjects as well as the subjects I would be taught that day. I would make sure that I had familiarised myself with the subjects so that I would be able to raise my hand to answer any question the teacher could ask on a new subject. I always prepared for each subject in this way, before attending any classes.
10.00 a.m. We would go home for lunch. Mostly we would eat rotlee, shak, dal, bhat (rice).
10.30 a.m. We would go to school.
10.30 -1.30 p.m. Attend classes in school
1.30 – 2.00 p.m. Rush home during the recess and eat a snack of magus and mathiyas. Then run back to school.
2.00 – 5.00 p.m. Attend school.
5.00 – 5.30 p.m. Return home from school and go straight up to my study room on the top floor of the house.
5.30 – 6.30 p.m. I would complete any homework that had been set by the teacher and thoroughly memorise everything that had been taught that day by revising each subject. I would then prepare the work for the following day.
6.30 – 8.00 p.m. Help with chores, relax in the company of adults as I did not like playing with children of my own age, preferring to be with my elders. I would fill their smoking-pipes and would be praised for being such a good devoted grandson.
I would sit down with my grandfather to eat my supper. I was not keen on rotla so rather than eat them I would play with my food. After supper I would go to the other house to fetch more water. There, Dadima or my aunt would feed me with the leftovers of the kichdi they had cooked. Dada was of the opinion that children should learn to eat everything. I would not dispute this fact, but then neither would I co-operate. My aunt would put plenty of ghee in the dough when making the rotlas. Once baked, she would add further amounts of ghee and gol to the rotla, turning them into lovely little ladus, which I would devour when I went to fetch the water. At the delo the old folk (grandfather’s friends) would sit and gossip. I would sit there and listen and then prepare to sleep.
In the summer, we would wrap ourselves with cool wet towels and where the Pandya School currently stands, there at night, we would lie amongst the elder people. Then around 10.00 p.m. or 10.30 p.m. we would return home to sleep. In the summer it would be very hot, sticky and humid.
Dadubhai and I would play with cards or marbles. The prize we played for was that of being fanned by the loser. We would play for 100 or 200 sweeps of the fan and when we went to sleep the winner would collect from the loser! i.e. the loser would have to fan the winner.
In that season, every year a drama group would appear and perform the ‘Ram Lila’ play on the square yard near our house. We would go and watch them perform the tales of Ram, Sita, Prahlad etc. Dadubhai would try to imitate the scenes showing kings in battle, which we had watched. At home, in the afternoon, Dadubhai and I would tie colourful bed sheets round our necks and let them drape over our shoulders in the same way as a king’s robe. We used to make a sword out of a thin iron rod and hang it from the waist. Dressed up like kings, we would begin fighting as though we were in battle. During this era, we used to daydream a lot. We had seen heaven being depicted in one of the scenes in ‘Ram Lila’ and had read about heaven. It became our ambition to bring that heaven down on earth. Dadubhai asked me “What is heaven ?” I replied “where women, wealth and fame are not the cause of disagreement between brothers and there is no argument about money; where-ever people live together in harmony, unity and in friendship, caring for one another, that is heaven.”
Even though we were experiencing hard times we did not have disagreements with our relations. Maniben never had any expectations; in fact she would bring things back from Dharmaj. At that time, I developed a habit of reading extensively and it became my hobby. On my days off, I would borrow books from the library and bring them home to read. From the Dilaxmi library, I read all the literature written by Narshi Mehta, Meerabai, Dayaram, Premanand, Narmad, Bhojabhagat and Kabir. Out of the famous authors, I liked to read the books written by Ramanlal, Vasantlal Desai, Nanalal, Gordhanram Pathak, Balashankar Meghani, Kanaiyalal Munshi, Ulasram Kalapi and Botadkar. I have read all their publications up to 1952. I began when I was in my fourth grade and continued throughout my college life.
When I was in Africa, I helped as the librarian at a public library called Saif-bin Salem Library. I was in charge of ordering all new publications and when they arrived I would read each publication before indexing it.
From the 4th grade I had learnt the technique of reading, extracting and summarising what I had read, which proved beneficial. I had built up a collection of such material. In 1952, when I returned to India, I brought that priceless file with me. However, in 1953-54 I tore up my treasured file. It was as if I had destroyed the recollections of that part of my life. It was as if that was a part of my previous life and now, although I can recall events, the strength of feelings in what I believed to be right and wrong, has disappeared.
In Gordhanram’s literature, a character named Kumud was referred to as Gurnyal (meaning full of virtues). It became my ambition to ensure that Mummyji’s character was moulded on Kumud; thus she would be the ideal wife. Therefore during my school life whenever I wrote to Kamla, who was then living with her parents in Parbhani, I would address her as Gurnyal and my letters would be full of advice. I wrote the very first letter when I was in the fifth or sixth grade and that letter fell into the hands of my father-in-law and he read it! However, the letter contained nothing but good advice. I felt my wife ought to be capable of understanding my letters and at the age of 14 – 15 years that was my objective. Later, when I was in college and Kamla came to stay with me, I would recite folk songs written by Botadkar etc., and teach her how to sing them. Of all the characters I had read about from the literature of Ramanlal and Gordhanram, Kokila appealed to me most because she held all the virtues that I wished to see develop in Kamla.
Dadubhai and I studied together in Nadiyad. I would read novels written by Kanaiyalal in which the main mythological characters whom I admired were Arundhati, Kach, Devyani and Sarmishtha and from these characters I remembered “The Sanjivani Mantra” – my life motto: “Do not be afraid, do not step down, do not give in but always be brave and keep up the fight in victory and defeat. In this life and the afterlife.” Dadubhai also memorised this phrase and both of our lives were shaped accordingly.
It was Dada’s ambition that we grow up to achieve a high government post, such as I.C.S. and so he would guard us 24 hours a day in an un-noticeable way. As we lived in a small town, the news of whatever we got up to always reached Dada.
We would go and wash clothes, although I never had many opportunities to go because Ravji, (Ganga’s husband) and a nephew Shankarbhai who lived at our house normally washed the clothes. Sometimes Dadubhai would go with them. However, having an eager and impatient personality, he decided he wanted to learn to swim. He took a dive and promptly began to drown! A villager who happened to be washing clothes at the edge of the pond noticed this and rescued Dadubhai. He then went and informed Dada of the incident. Dada was very distressed to hear this. He came home and gave Dadu a good scolding.
During the kite festival, although Dada had banned Dadu from climbing on the roofs because he kept falling off, as soon as Dada went out for a walk, Dadu would immediately climb up! When he saw Dada returning, he would quickly and quietly climb down again. However, Dada was also very shrewd. As soon as he entered Lakhavad, his eyes would also be scouring the rooftops and Dadu would sometimes be caught. As Dadu got up to all kinds of mischief, Dada would scold him almost every day. When Ba favoured Dadu, Dada would become irritated and tell her off saying, “Your Dadu, the Emperor of Delhi, will ruin your reputation! Why are you so lenient with him? Babu is my jewel. He will uphold my reputation.” He had even told my aunt that Babu will never ill-treat you. Hence when my uncle died, my grandfather named me as the sole trustee of their estate in his will.
Punjajibapu and his devotees from Sankarda, Vasna, etc. would often gather at my father’s surgery in Anand having attended the festivals at Bochasan for a mini-festival of their own. There would be plenty of food and gaiety and an old lady known as Hiraba would come to Nadiyad to fetch us. Dada would not allow us to attend such religious festivities; hence she would have to make other excuses in order to take us.
When Dadubhai was seven years of age and I was approximately eight and a half, we had attended such a festival. We took the fast evening train back from Anand to Nadiyad. We bought our tickets, boarded the train and were waiting for the train to depart. Dadubhai jumped off just as the whistle was blown and the train started to move. I panicked because I could not get off the train and there was nothing I could do. When the train reached Nadiyad I went home crying. Dada asked, “What is the matter?” and I replied “Dadu jumped off the train just as it was leaving Anand station”. Dada then went to the stationmaster who promptly contacted the Anand station. Enquiries were made and Dadu was found wandering at a nearby hospital.
Hiraba once took us to Anand on the pretext of giving us a treat saying that as she did not have any children of her own, she wanted us to dine with her. In reality we were taken to Anand to attend one of these religious festivities in the presence of Punjajibapu. My uncle (Mama), who was returning from his trip to Dakor, came to Anand unexpectedly. He spotted us, told Dada and the truth was out. Dada was extremely annoyed and reprimanded my mother, Diwaliba.
Dada totally disapproved of anything that Sarabhai did because Sarabhai was very naive and gullible, like my sister Kamlaba. He was easily deceived by people. The land where Sarabhai’s hospital stood had been acquired on a ten-year lease. Dada had warned Sarabhai not to build on the land, which was on a short-term lease, saying that he might be asked by the owner to vacate his land and cause distress. Sarabhai, however, was adamant that he would easily have earned enough money within ten years. He was very optimistic but his partner cheated him out of his money. Sarabhai also suffered from a cataract and was losing his vision. Ten years had not even elapsed and the landlord requested that the land be vacated. The hospital had only been open for two years and the equipment and chattels had to be sold. The table-lamp from the hospital, which I used in Nadiyad, is now in Jyot.
Dada used to guard us like a hawk, ensuring that we studied hard and that we did not go to Anand too often. He would often say “A golden dagger is wasted if not used correctly; it should be used to protect oneself; similarly one should never commend one’s own child, wife or servant, one should always rebuke them.” As a result we grew up being scolded for minor incidents. However, whenever we were ill we were always pampered and hence my uncle was always ill. He would purposely make himself sick and not eat on the pretence of feeling ill. Dada would call the local physician and friends and neighbours would flock to visit him, which used to please Dada. If anyone failed to visit an ill member of our family, Dada would be very irritated and he would make his feelings known to everyone.
I would study hard in accordance with Dada’s wishes ensuring I always came first in each subject so that he would have no cause to complain. I had become proficient at bookkeeping and debt collecting; having watched how he opened accounts, and dealt with debits and credits.
My uncle remained very ill and eventually died. Hence I took over the responsibility of writing the accounts in draft form leaving Dada to reconcile the final accounts. Gradually, I was totally responsible for all the accounts.